If I knew how to draw a double line or turn the page. . . This is Fall of 2008 and time to begin a new chapter, after a long pause in my blogging, which has partly coincided with a long pause in the AIDS/Lifecycle training season. Cycle training and the AIDS Ride have provided the framework and rationale of this writing—and I certainly have not ceased riding. But life and events have also gone on in the interim, and soon I guess I’ll have to give some account of them. But here we are, facing the kickoff ride for ALC 8, this Saturday (I’m going to have to decide whether to skip it and go help sing a Gregorian mass at St. Ambrose, where they sorely need me, or whether I can ride and still get back on time). Diana has volunteered to help conduct a clinic for beginning riders, but I didn’t sign up to help; I felt that others would probably appreciate the chance to act as leaders. And I haven’t yet registered to ride this year. I think I need to see what my cancer situation is before I commit myself; in fact I also have some reservations about the ride and some concerns about my determination to do the fundraising. Again, maybe I need to give others a chance to ride: they’re going to limit registrations again. And Diana won’t be riding; she will be undergoing knee surgery in just a few weeks and has extensive rehab to look forward to. Actually the bike will help her regain her strength, assuming all goes well. But the main factor is her school schedule. The first week in June is the worst possible week for a teacher to take off. Well, we have both been recertified as Training Ride Leaders and intend to help train AIDS riders as we did last year.
While speaking of ALC and fundraising: our friend Valdez Hill, who developed the ALC Concert Series last year, is back with even more ambitious plans for this year. And we’ll be joining him, as supporters and performers. I’ve been trying to set up a program in February at Northbrae where I sing. He’s been lining up sponsor churches, some very desirable venues this time, and recruiting musicians, professional and amateur. And he’s found he can reach out beyond AIDS/Lifecycle, will be staging benefits for several organizations, including the Young People’s Symphony and a rec program for HIV positive teens. It’s exciting to think about.
Well, my condition. I am continually embarrassed by people who ask me in that urgent way how I am feeling. I should appreciate their concern, for me, for a fellow human, but they are seeing me as a “cancer patient,” and almost seem disappointed to hear that I feel fine. And I am fine. Yes, I am on anticoagulants, until December, and there is the possibility I could bleed dangerously if injured. While they were scanning me in the hospital for my embolism they discovered another spot in my lung which appears cancerous. But it’s way too small to biopsy for now, so we are waiting to see if it will grow. It’s just the same story as my colon mass: no symptoms, nothing I can do about it, just take one step at a time. I’ll be going in for another scan when we get Diana through surgery and recovering. Worst case could be very bad, but there’s no reason to assume the worst. So yes, I am fine and feeling fit and riding strong. That’s enough for now.
